I’ve mentioned before in these pages that T2 is a man of a thousand voices. He calls them his “characters” and he does them all the time, jumping from one weird voice to another like a miniature Mel Blanc. My brother, after spending a few days with T2, stopped him mid sentence and asked, “do you ever use your real voice?”
“No,” T2 said, in his real voice. “No I do not.”
I feel like half the time when I am talking about T2 I preface my report on his activities with the phrase “for reasons no one can determine” but the fact of the matter is he does a lot of stuff for reasons which no one can determine. The most recent of these is his Russian accent. He has started talking like a stereotypical Russian gangster.
He started out by just saying one phrase.
“I want a .50 caliber machine gun.”
Not sure where that came from. It sounds, exactly, like this:
Then he expanded it.
“I want a .50 caliber machine gun. Put it on the roof of my Ferrari.”
After that he was off to the races, often lapsing into pseudo-Russian for entire paragraphs at a time.
It has also been noted in these pages that T2 has a bit of a speech issue (beyond constantly doing voices). He has trouble with his r-sounds, especially when the r-sound is followed by a vowel.
One night we were sitting at dinner and T2, apropos of nothing said his new catch phrase:
(I’m just reposting it because I think it is funny.)
His mom looked at him for a second and said, “Hey, T2, say ‘racetrack’ but say it like a Russian.”
Normally that would come out as “wacetwack.” He raised an eyebrow and said ,”racetrack” rolling the r’s a little but ennuciating them perfectly. C and I looked at each other.
“Say ‘really’ like a Russian,” I said.
“Holy crap,” I said.
“What?” T2 said.
“You said that perfectly,” his mother said.
“What?” T2 asked.
“When you said ‘really’ with your Russian accent you said it perfectly,” she explained.
“Rreally,” he said, in fake-Russian. “Rrussian. Trrees.”
Then with his arms over his head, “I NEVER HAVE TO GO TO SPEECH AGAIN!”
He’s bugging me to buy the Rosetta Stone Russian package now because he wants us all to become fluent Russian speakers but other than that, it’s a pretty cool and amazing work around for his speech issue, one that we wouldn’t have ever stumbled upon if he wasn’t a little weird. That’s a compliment in our house, by the way. Being weird. He knows the score. He’s proud of it.
“I’m weird,” he said recently. “But it’s the cool kind of weird. “
I may actually get him the Rosetta Stone beginners package.
I’m not buying him a machine gun.