I talk a lot about me in this blog because it is from my perspective and I think that I am pretty awesome. As a result, I come off as super fake dad- clever, wise enough to know I don’t know stuff, funny and nurturing. What she does gets pushed largely into the background. The fact of the matter is, all of what I do is interesting to me because it is still so new. I’ve only been in fake dad mode for a couple of years. She does all the same stuff I do and more, she just doesn’t make a big deal out of it or obsess on how many readers she has because she’s been doing it for more than a decade now. She loves these boys with an intensity that is both a joy and a little frightening to behold. The boys love her as well.
T2 does this obviously. He is affectionate to an extreme. He couples this with being genuinely funny. The other day we were watching the San Francisco 49’ers play some other team. On the couch is me, T2 and then C. T2 is playing on his iPad. A call goes against C’s beloved 49’ers and she erupts, yelling at the screen. T2 doesn’t look up from his game, he just reaches over, pats her on the arm and says, “Take it easy, mamma bear.”
T1 is more difficult. He’s a teenager and so wavers between being totally sweet and raging pain in the ass. I don’t actually have much of an issue with him, we get along very well. He and C clash a lot. The reason for this is pretty obvious to anyone who observes them for any more than five minutes- they have exactly the same personality. They are both deadpan and sarcastic. They both affect an air of indifference when they really care a lot. They butt heads all the time. It’s alternatively funny and annoying. Having said that, he is fiercely protective of his mother. “Who are you?” is the first thing he ever said to me. He loves her very much and isn’t afraid to express that, as long as he can do it while still looking cool.
She is very hands on. She talks to them and not at them. She is interested in what they are interested in. She supports them when they need it and is starting to get better at letting them go out on their own when the situation warrants it.
She is on the PTO at T2’s school. I’ve no idea why it is PTO and not PTA. I guess the “O” stands for organization, which is different than the more traditional “A” for association because…yeah, I’ve got nothing. Anyway, as part of her PTO duties she was the event chair for something called Lace Up for Learning. This is a charity 5k run. All of the schools in the area participate with a large portion of all of the entry fees going to the individual schools. The chairs from each school are responsible for getting both participants and volunteers from their school.
C did an amazing job. As a result of her efforts, T2’s school had both the most runners and most volunteers and so got the biggest check. I was very proud. She was very matter of fact about it. She did it because it was good for her boys. The same reason she does everything.
She often asks me if I am sure that I want to be where I am. She worries that I took on too much, that I didn’t know what I was signing on for. My reply to this is I am very happy where I am and that one of the reasons I love her is because she is such a good mother. I know good mothers. My own mom is an amazing woman. My mom has always been there for me, I’ve never for a moment doubted she loved me and was there for me. C is that way too. I wouldn’t care about her nearly as much as I do if she wasn’t.
The boys are lucky to have her. So am I.
ACASP will return December 2nd.