T2 has really good hair. Thick, black and curly, it’s so good that strangers spontaneously comment on it. I’ve got horrible hair, so I am extremely jealous. Tony Stark, the titular Iron Man, played by Robert Downey Jr. also has fantastic hair. Cut short on the sides, pushed up on the top, it’s a very cool coiffure. Not, it should be noted, all that different from how T2 wears his hair. However it’s not, according to T2, close enough.
The other day he comes downstairs with the hair on the top of his head sticking almost straight up. I’m not going to lie, it looks awesome. He points to it with both hands, strikes a bit of a pose and says, “Tony Stark Hair!”
“That looks great,” I say. “How did you make it stick up like that?”
“I used the stuff in the blue bottle,” he replied.
“What stuff?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said, “it said ‘for full hair’ on the bottle.”
“Shampoo,” said C. “He used shampoo.”
Which he had. His hair was holding in place because it was full of shampoo. We made him go wash it out, but nobody was angry. When I was six I cut a part in my hair with safety scissors so it would look like Luke Skywalker’s hairstyle, so I could hardly judge T2 too harshly.
The next day, per his request, we went to get his haircut. We explained what we wanted to the confused hair stylist- she apparently hadn’t seen the movies- and finally resorted to loading a picture on my phone of Robert Downey Jr.
It worked, his hair looked good and just like his new hero. We even went to Harris Teeter and bought him some styling paste so he could make it stick up better. What we didn’t do was explain to him how to use it.
Several hours later he came downstairs in a repeat of his earlier “Tony Stark Hair” reveal. This time, however, something was different.
“Why is your hair white?” asked the long suffering C.
T2’s normally black mane was streaked with white. He looked like he had suffered some major scare that had bleached his hair out, or that he had decided to stop coloring it and just let it revert to a rather distinguished looking salt and pepper color.
“I used the stuff you got me,” he said.
“How much of it did you use?” I asked.
He had used a lot. We went upstairs and discovered that he had used about a sixth of the total amount of white styling paste on his head at once. He basically just scooped as much as he could out of the container and smashed it on his head. We washed his hair (again) and I explained that he really only needed to use about as much as he could put on the tip of one finger.
He’s got it down now.
I’m so jealous.